To the Tired Mom
Are you tired? And when I say tired, I mean not just sleepy, but just drained, physically, mentally spiritually?
I’ve been there. You’re so tired, you don’t even want to go to sleep, because the each day is as daunting as the next, and you know you’ll still be so tired.
For single moms and moms who have husbands who work late hours or are away because of work, I get it. I know how you feel.
My husband is our sole provider financially and his job takes most of the day Mondays to Fridays. For the most part, the kids don’t see him except for bedtime. This means I rarely get to pass the parenting baton off when he gets home, because as soon as the kids are asleep he goes straight to bed because he’s got an early start each day. This also means I’ve had to push myself to get things organized for the next day too. On weekends, when I think there will be a break from the hectic schedule, turns out that hubby needs time to recharge and we only get the necessities done, and so I’m left still doing the same things I do Monday to Friday. No break. No down time.
With two young ones, homeschooling and home maintenance, I got really tired. Mentally, physically and spiritually. I felt like there was no end to this constant need to work and I longed for rest. Sleeping wasn’t cutting it. I needed “rest”. Thoughts of thinking no one cared, my friends and family were so far away, I started to feel cut off and alone. It’s funny how fast you can slip into a dark place, and so hard to pull yourself from it. I started to ache inside my bones. This was not good.
and the LORD will guide you continually,
and satisfy your soul in dry places, and make strong your bones;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.
Isaiah 58:11 New Heart English Bible
I’m not sure how I actually stumbled across this verse but it changed me.
I said these words over and over each day. I put it on my desktop. I needed to be reminded of these words:
God guides me
He will make me strong
I will not fail
Only God can get down to that deep deep place, where it aches, where you can’t find strength anymore, when there seems to be no one there.
Know that the almighty God sees you and hears your cries. His reckless love will find you always. But you have to look up. Lift your head. Help is there.
Talk about it. Find a friend, group to connect. I felt almost embarrassed to admit that I was struggling with life. Life….just like everyone else is going through and seemingly handling it better than I was. But remind yourself today, that maybe you have the toddler with the "terrible twos" and your friend doesn’t, but you don’t know when the tables will turn and you’ll be breezing through the next stage and your friend won’t be. Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone goes through their own trials. The sad part is, some don’t talk about it. This gives the false illusion that something is wrong with you if you struggle. Everyone struggles. Everyone. So talk to someone or a group of moms about what you’re going through if you can. I promise you will find encouragement in knowing you’re not the only one.
Take moments to rest. Not just physically, but give yourself a mental break. Time to feed your soul. Many moms have found that starting the day with a simple devotion and time to pray before the hectic day starts helps. Or maybe you can set aside 10 minutes at lunch. Or as the house calms at night, before you go to bed. Find the time. Pencil it in. You need it. You owe it to yourself.
Let go of some things. I had to let go of the anger I felt of not having my husband home when I needed him and/or when the kids need him. But I also had to realize that he has to work, and while we pray for something better, it’s something we cannot change right now. This took time, because it doesn’t change things. It doesn’t change things right now. But I know that God has promised to be with me, he will not forsake me or forget me. He’s walking with me. He’s walking with you too. What are some things you need to let go off? Maybe it’s some tasks that you are doing that don’t have to be on your plate. Take some time to re-evaluate the things you do. Yup, that means maybe not cleaning up all the toys every day. (It drives me bonkers, but i’ve had to let it go!)
Take things one step at a time. Work on the “right now”. No matter what your situation, I’ve learned that sometimes God is more concerned with getting you through it, not so much getting rid of the situation. We grow, we mature and we are stronger after pushing through it. This is another lesson that deserves a separate post (maturing through trials), but for now, just breathe. It’s going to be okay.
I'm praying for you, tired mom. Be encouraged. Have faith.