I feel a special connection to Hannah. I was never officially told it would be difficult to have children, but it was a while before my firstborn came along. After trying one night, having been trying for a few years, I cried before the Lord. I knew He knew my heart and heard my prayers, but the desire was strong, the ache to hold a child in my arms was deep. I wanted so much to be a mother. That night, I prayed like I never prayed before. It was a deep groaning from my heart. A few weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant. I was overjoyed!
But delivery was complicated, and for many years after I was on the fence on whether or not to have another child.
After praying about it and what was best for our family, we decided to try again. One night, again, I prayed differently. That same plea from deep within my heart. I became pregnant again. This time though, the end of the pregnancy was rough and I ended up on bed rest, only to have my second born 1 month early. It was a scary time for both me and my son. But we made it through. I have two healthy, strong young boys.
I’m sharing my story not to say that things always work out. I was fortunate that God granted me these two precious boys. But maybe they will. Only God knows your future, and the timing in which it happens. Regardless of what happens, I know that there is no mistake in trusting in Him to act according to His will.
I’m also sharing my story for the reason of remembering that I asked to be a mother. So when life as a mother gets overwhelming (and it will always get overwhelming at some point) I need to remember that this is what I wanted. It's what I sought the Lord for and he entrusted my little gifts to me. The joys of motherhood cannot compare to anything else, but it also comes with the hard parts too. It’s part of the package. The good news is God was with you through the whole process of bringing these children into the world and he’s walking with you now.
There’s a purpose for your family. There is a purpose for your children. Lean in to Him to seek out that purpose. Cover them in prayer. Believe in the wonderful things He has in store for you as a mom, and for the futures of your children.